I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
