I wanna passion pit in your ass
they need to just BURY HIM!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
