She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize