Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
