Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
