Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
this hospital has no fireball
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
