I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
