I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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