Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize