is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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