I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize