the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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