I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
