"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
