Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
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