They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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