brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
