did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
