Your tits are I can't wait for
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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