I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
