dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
