No stitches, just platelets and will power
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
