I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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