but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
