He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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