I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
