yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
