I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
