i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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