Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize