He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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