how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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