"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
