Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
