he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
