Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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