sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
