I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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