Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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