Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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