Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize