I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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