i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
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