I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize