other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
