Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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