you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize