Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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