the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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