My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
