My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
