He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
