I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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