Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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