So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
