I heard we made out
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
