1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
