There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
