I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I think I just sharted jello shots
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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