I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
