But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
