They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
