VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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