nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
