let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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