There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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