My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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