I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
