Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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