i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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