lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
