so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize